I don’t have family here, and that is so hard in the thick of raising little ones. After I left my job, I knew that I needed a support system to help me through the hard days.
I found the Mom to Mom group at my church, and I have never looked back! I am so lucky to have this support, and quite honestly, without it I would have cracked a LONG time ago.
We are a group of approximately 100 women and we sit at tables in groups of 10. At each table, we have a “mentor mom”.
A mentor mom is a seasoned mom with grown children, who helps guide the more inexperienced moms on the difficult paths of parenting and marriage.
We mixed up our usual tables and mentors this week so we could meet other moms in the group, and talk with other mentors. Each mentor had a topic to discuss with us for a limited time before we moved to the next table, and I took so many notes and soaked up so much wisdom, I wanted to pass along the highlights!
The topics we heard about were: marriage, communication, forgiveness, time management, priorities in a busy life, spending time with God, boundaries, faith-based books, handling the unknown, and creative ways to keep the Word in front of you (crafts).
Each of these little nuggets can be discussed at length, but I am giving the highlights so you get the gist!
- The enemy attacks the centers of communication first. Choose battles wisely, and restore the relationship asap.
- Always communicate love.
- Ladies: Quit nagging your husbands! They heard you the first time. Remember their other gifts!
- Don’t become partners without PASSION. Go back and remember what made you happy.
- Men’s greatest need is respect. Submit to your husbands.
- Submitting to your husbands doesn’t mean that you don’t have a say. It means that you defer to him to lead the family well.
- Remember your husband’s need for physical connection.
- Learn to laugh together! Marriage is funny, it is you and your husband doing life together.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean weakness or that you forget what happened. Forgiveness is for you. You can’t drink the poison and expect the rat to die.
- How do you forgive without feeling like you lost the fight? Read the Word. Col 3:13 is an example.
- Know your limits in a busy life. There is always a cost to being a Supermom.
- Why do we weigh ourselves down with the baby and armloads of groceries just so we can make one trip? Remove some of the burden. And make two trips.
- Mom most often sets the tone in the house. Take care of yourself!
- JUST SAY NO. Satan keeps us busy. Busyness causes problems. You don’t have to do everything.
- When prioritizing your day, ask yourself, can I do this without grumbling?
- Every Yes is a No to something else. Choose wisely!
- Have a family mission statement. Then when choosing activities, say yes or no based on that. Does it fit your family?
- Not every kid has to do every activity. Some kids don’t need any activities.
- Don’t do anything for your kids that they can do for themselves. It takes away their power.
- If they don’t do the things they can do for themselves, let them face the consequences.
- If you keep rescuing someone that can help themselves, you’ll have to keep doing it.
- Why should I read the boring old Bible when Sweet Savage Love is right there on the table? Time to grow up, ladies! Your spiritual life is up to you.
- If it’s hard to study the Bible on your own, find a small group or someone to help you.
- Only God will get you through the hardest times, not a girlfriend or husband.
- Pour the Word into your kids when they’re young, any way you can.
- Songs, crafts or birthday themes are great for kids (Esther bday party for a girl)
- Keep the Word in front of you (hidden verses in a painting, verses painted on coffee cups, homemade pictures or home decor)
- Recommended reading: In His Steps, The Purpose Driven Life, Redeeming Love, Boundaries and Jesus Calling.
- There is no unknown to God
- Don’t be afraid to walk with Him wherever he may take you, especially when it’s uncomfortable
- You can respond to the unknown in two ways, in faith or in fear. Faith will be rewarded.
- God puts people in your life to encourage you, it is not a coincidence.
I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to soak up all of the wisdom of the mentors in this group, and I learn a lot from the other moms in the group as well. We’re all in this together!
And feel free to share any helpful advice you might have to add!