With a quick snip and a bag of frozen peas, we have eliminated the possibility of having more children.

Though I’m sure my husband would not want me to state said event so simply (there certainly was a bit of tender recovery involved) we made the not-so-difficult decision to leave our family as is.

I don’t mean to sound heartless because our home is full of love and laughter and little smiles.  We have two young, healthy beautiful little boys that we cherish.  But quite honestly at 38, I’m not getting any younger and my body has had enough.

We have only had two kids, but I don’t want to state those said events so simply either.  I am 5’2, and 140 pounds.  My husband is a strong, sturdy 6’3.  We were both big babies at birth, 8+ pounds.  My first baby was 10 lbs 10 oz, and my second was 9 lbs, 6 oz.  Though my pregnancies were easy health-wise, they took their physical toll and it was not easy to carry them. I nursed my first until I went back to work, and I nursed my second full-time until he was 7 months old after I left my job.  And by full time I mean FULL-TIME. I am still nursing part time.

I don’t want to sound selfish, but I am ready to get my life back.  My sons are forever a part of my life and I am pouring everything I have into raising them into two polite, respectful, fun-loving young men.  I will always be here to guide them, but I am finally at a point where I’m ready to have something for me.  I am aware that I can do that while raising kids, but the amount of time I have for myself right now is very limited.

I know that I will miss them being young and that the time goes fast.  They are now 6yrs and 10 mos, and I look at pictures of them now from several months ago and I get a little weepy.  I get that.  I really want to make the most of my time at home with them and I am very  dedicated to doing that well.  But I am also ready to start discovering me and my husband again.

I know that every stage of their childhood has its pros and cons, but I can’t wait until they bring all of their friends over to eat me out of house and home after school.  I can’t wait to go to football games, school plays, science fairs, or art shows (whatever they choose to do).  I can’t wait to teach them how to drive (look out!) and give them girl advice (they’re crazy son, just go with it) and all of the other fun and not so fun stuff that will come along.

So our times of raising kids are certainly not over, I’m just ready to let go of the brand new baby times.  We are unable to get a “baby substitute” of the dog or cat variety because of pet allergies, but I can always volunteer in my church’s nursery or offer to babysit if I get a hankering to hold a sweet baby.  And with the gift of today’s technology, if we really feel a calling to have another one, the procedure is reversible.  Though that may require a lot more frozen peas!

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