Clothes Shopping: Like the Hooker on Rodeo Drive

Boy, I tell ya, I am nothing if not practical.

If I leave the house I want to run at least two errands, I only buy clothes for the kids that can mix and match in different combinations, comfort is my number one priority, and I am a planner. Plan, plan, plan, plan, planner.

I am really excited about this upcoming trip to the White House. But I think my wedding (10 years ago) was probably the last thing I’ve ever planned so much for.

I got a haircut, I shaved my legs, I did a home spa mani/pedi, and I set foot inside a shopping mall for clothes. If you know me at all, me in a shopping mall is a lot like the hooker in Pretty Woman shopping for clothes on Rodeo Drive. It just doesn’t fit.

But I spent hours in different stores, and tried on hundreds of things, and I enjoyed it. I never thought the following words would ever come out of my mouth, but there is a lot of really cute stuff out there, especially with Easter coming up.

I didn’t really know what I was doing when I was trying on clothes, but I heeded my husband’s professional advice. He broke it down into really scientific terms for me and said “Just go and try on a bunch of black shit.”

Men are hilarious. As I was trying on clothes I heard a woman come out of the dressing room and ask her husband if he thought she could get away with what she was wearing. First of all, that’s a landmine question, and second of all, his voice was full of boredom and “please just buy a bunch of black shit”-edness. Men do not care. Get in, grab the first thing that fits, and get out.

But women need to feel good, or all bets are off. Black is a professional, flattering color so it’s my popular go-to. But even in all of my plain-ness, I wanted some color. And variety. I tried on everything. I tried on dresses, pants, skirts, blouses, light sweaters, pant suits, Easter dresses, you name it, I was having fun.

And my spirits were good. After I got home, I discovered I somehow lost 6 pounds, which is an unsolved mystery because I’ve been eating like crap. I have been drinking more water, but that’s about it.

I tried on a lot of dresses and tops and skirts that fit and were really cute, but just weren’t flattering on me. I’m short and large-chested, so shopping life is hard.

The skirts were out because I have spider veins behind my left leg. I know I need to love my body just as it is, but I am self-conscious about that and I don’t want any distractions or fidgeting while I’m there. I want to enjoy it all.

We got an email that said the style of dress was business casual and I plan on doing a lot of walking around and sight seeing afterwards so I went for comfort too. My final destination where I bought everything was Kohl’s.

I got 2 outfits, the short sleeved bit for a casual meetup with other writers, and the bright light sweater for the big day and 2 pairs of slacks. Everything is light and airy and simple. Like me.

Clothes1

 

Clothes2

Bling

I’m going to bling up the sweater with jewelry (and my beaming smile.) And if you notice, you can mix and match both ensembles because options.

I found a great pair of wedge sandals, but they weren’t comfortable with me trying them on and just standing in the store, much less for walking around for several hours, so I got comfortable shoes. I know I could stick other shoes in my bag for later, but I want to travel light since I’ll be carrying my laptop and other stuff around all day.

I had to go with something that was comfortable and 100% me. Even to meet the First Lady. If it isn’t me, it isn’t right and I just can’t. No faking allowed here. I think she would respect that.

So I’m all ready. I just need to pack, I leave tomorrow morning. I was really nervous, but now I’m pretty chill. I’m relaxed and I plan to enjoy every minute. And as we all know, the big obstacle is over. Clothes.

I will Tweet and share pics about the Big White House Adventure on the Real Honest Mom Facebook page. I hope you’ll follow along as this small-town girl ventures to the White House.

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